Ass-hole Mountain

I was at a gathering yesterday to celebrate Summer Solstice - and we were talking to the host who told us he drives by our town every day to get to work - which naturally prompted the question where do you work - and his response was over on Ass-hole Mountain - driving some heavy equipment for what I gathered to be mining and rock extraction. He looked real surprised that we had not heard of Ass-hole Mountain. I was waiting for the punch line that never arrived, or thinking it was a place like a bar that he had not liked and re-named - you know the way some people re-name a place like Home Depot - Home Despot, some kind of not so affectionate nickname - but he was dead serious. So I looked it up on Google - one guy put it up on his Flickr here - and sure enough, it really does exist and it is not too far from where I live.

I am one of those people who finds meaning in every event in my life, from seeing hidden faces that appear to be coming out of trees and rocks while I am in a meditational state, to the meaning of the people I have chosen to encounter in my life - so I see this as a real milestone - like I really am meant to be here where I live, like somehow or another I am on the right track. Not only do I know there is an Ass-hole Mountain, but its presence is within eyesight of my town. I am very moved by this.

Something I wrote and sang to my wife

I probably had "Forever Young" in the back of my head when I thought of this:


A Prayer for you

May you learn to love yourself the way I love you
To adore and cherish you the way that I do
May you feel all the love that you give to others
Coming back to yourself, be your own loving mother

May you see the shining glow of the sunset skies
Is a mirror of the beauty that shines out from your eyes
May you see the glow that shines out from your skin
Is a reflection of the beauty of your spirit within

May you merge with the Goddess you continue to seek
Find her warm nurturing is within your reach
Breathe in and breathe out, all you have to do
You don’t have to find her, she’s already found you

May you listen to the message of the rabbits and birds
Feel the animal connection within their words
May the plants and the trees, the beauty of this land
Reflect the loving beauty coming from your own hands

May you learn to accept yourself the way that you are
You’ve come such a long way, you will still go so far
May you build a shield from others’ judgments of you
Know they just see themselves, when they judge its’ not you

May you make a truce with the pain from the past
Buried deep in a grave, it doesn’t have to last
When you free yourself from it, may you feel a re-birth
May you feel a connection with the sweet mother Earth

May you see that no-one else has the answer for you
Just the Goddess and the angel in the heart of you
May you breathe in and find they are there waiting for you
Close your eyes, embrace the loving magic in you

It’s for these thing that I will keep praying for you
To all the loving spirits that are surrounding you
For the miracle to happen however it does
For you to find in your heart the well of endless love

Charter Communications sucks

E-mail I sent to them:

I just wanted to express my extreme disappointment with a late fee of $4.95. I called twice to talk to your representatives who both refused to waive it. I had an error in my bill when my service was disconnected, asked for a new bill, and when I paid it, I was told that because I did not pay the bil that was $120.00 too high I would be penalized for being late. Charter is the only company I have ever dealt with that did not give the customer the benefit of the doubt. When asked why I no longer use Charter, this is the reason - I was tired of improper billing, high prices and poor customer service like the service I had when I complained of my late fee. I will pay this amount, since it is not worth a credit report charge, but I again want you to know how complelely disappointing and upsetting this experience was. I was a loyal customer of yours for years and I believe that I deserved to be treated better.Thanks.

You never know what you'll find in an empty house

I happened to be looking through an empty house for sale off of Stephanie Way, not too far from where our friend Viola lives. Anyways - not going to go into the reasons why I was looking at it, but I just was - and I saw this picture over a loft area on a wall that was drawn by hand onto the wall of the platform for sleeping. The guy kind of reminds me of Jim Morrison a little. It seemed to be pretty well done for someone just drawing a picture on a wall and it had a kind of magical fairy tale look to it, so I decided to get a couple pictures of it. In a strange way it was inspiring to me. Sure - it could be perceived as somewhat cheesy, maybe so - but I still felt compelled to make a second trip back into the house to get a better look and picture of it, even after I had all my data on the house completed already. It seemed to me whoever drew it was in some way living it, as there was a simultaneous piece of what looked like mistletoe on the room entrance. Here it is - unknown art from a house pending sale in north Minden.

Every little thing's gonna be all right

That is a Bob Marley quote for anyone who does not know that - like if you live in a cave.

A month and a half ago I had intense testicle pain that went off and on for a couple weeks. Just at the point when I thought I was going to need an ultrasound, it went away. Well - as of last night it has come back, so that ultrasound is going to have to happen after all. Intuitively I still believe it is nothing major or life threatening, but since I happen to live in a world of science and somewhat relatively advanced medical technology, I need to use this to confirm that. Sure it is a little frustrating and the pain sucks, but it is what life has to offer me at this point.

On the married front - we have had some issues to face. It always seems to be that we are looking at the end - especially since that D word seems to keep coming up. I really believe we are better together than apart, and that I love my family here more than anything. The relationship you have with another is like the one you have with yourself, and as it is a love-hate relationship I have within myself, that transcends to the one I have with another person. There have been some tense moments, raised voices, silent distances that come with the territory. I know we can work it out - we will - but it is going to continue to be a challenge.

Our daughter's tests keep getting put off, but now set for June 28. The symptoms appear to possibly be along the lines of Crohn's Disease. It seems way too complicated to just lump it all under the stress category, as some days the symptoms are completely gone while other days they just show up with no apparent explanation. So far all of the psychiatric medication has produced nothing but side effects - another reason I have never been a big fan of pills. Once the tests are done, if anything we can rule out physical symptoms or diseases, or figure out possibly what this is all about.

Some may question this, but there is an apparent telepathic connection between my wife and daughter. Victoria told me - and I don't think she is making this up - she heard her crying intensely in the house - only she happened to be at school. She called the school, that was getting ready to call her - and that same intense crying was happening on the phone 14 miles away. Again - assuming this is a truthful statement - how do you explain that?

The last song I linked over in My Space has been a huge help to me getting through what I do. Lately I find writing and singing songs about love and self-acceptance are the best soul medication out there. My last set of songs I called "Self help on the way" and from the same Grateful Dead song I am going to call the next bunch "With love in the dream". I have recorded 4 of them on the 4-track over the last week. The one I posted on My Space was inspired by a lot of the different authors I have read - Don Ruiz, Thich Nhat Hanh, Ram Daas and even Depak Chopra - even some of Michael Franti's message was in there. The ideas may be recycled, but they are very helpful to facing the challenges of my life at this time. Digging in when times are challenging, and still finding the focus to access your deeper self and stay tuned into one's faith - to me that is what musical and artistic expression is about. That is why I know in spite of all this, every little thing is going to be all right - one way or another - it will work out, the way it was meant to be - the right way.

Thanks to all who have expressed support - I appreciate it.