Every little thing's gonna be all right
That is a Bob Marley quote for anyone who does not know that - like if you live in a cave.
A month and a half ago I had intense testicle pain that went off and on for a couple weeks. Just at the point when I thought I was going to need an ultrasound, it went away. Well - as of last night it has come back, so that ultrasound is going to have to happen after all. Intuitively I still believe it is nothing major or life threatening, but since I happen to live in a world of science and somewhat relatively advanced medical technology, I need to use this to confirm that. Sure it is a little frustrating and the pain sucks, but it is what life has to offer me at this point.
On the married front - we have had some issues to face. It always seems to be that we are looking at the end - especially since that D word seems to keep coming up. I really believe we are better together than apart, and that I love my family here more than anything. The relationship you have with another is like the one you have with yourself, and as it is a love-hate relationship I have within myself, that transcends to the one I have with another person. There have been some tense moments, raised voices, silent distances that come with the territory. I know we can work it out - we will - but it is going to continue to be a challenge.
Our daughter's tests keep getting put off, but now set for June 28. The symptoms appear to possibly be along the lines of Crohn's Disease. It seems way too complicated to just lump it all under the stress category, as some days the symptoms are completely gone while other days they just show up with no apparent explanation. So far all of the psychiatric medication has produced nothing but side effects - another reason I have never been a big fan of pills. Once the tests are done, if anything we can rule out physical symptoms or diseases, or figure out possibly what this is all about.
Some may question this, but there is an apparent telepathic connection between my wife and daughter. Victoria told me - and I don't think she is making this up - she heard her crying intensely in the house - only she happened to be at school. She called the school, that was getting ready to call her - and that same intense crying was happening on the phone 14 miles away. Again - assuming this is a truthful statement - how do you explain that?
The last song I linked over in My Space has been a huge help to me getting through what I do. Lately I find writing and singing songs about love and self-acceptance are the best soul medication out there. My last set of songs I called "Self help on the way" and from the same Grateful Dead song I am going to call the next bunch "With love in the dream". I have recorded 4 of them on the 4-track over the last week. The one I posted on My Space was inspired by a lot of the different authors I have read - Don Ruiz, Thich Nhat Hanh, Ram Daas and even Depak Chopra - even some of Michael Franti's message was in there. The ideas may be recycled, but they are very helpful to facing the challenges of my life at this time. Digging in when times are challenging, and still finding the focus to access your deeper self and stay tuned into one's faith - to me that is what musical and artistic expression is about. That is why I know in spite of all this, every little thing is going to be all right - one way or another - it will work out, the way it was meant to be - the right way.
Thanks to all who have expressed support - I appreciate it.
A month and a half ago I had intense testicle pain that went off and on for a couple weeks. Just at the point when I thought I was going to need an ultrasound, it went away. Well - as of last night it has come back, so that ultrasound is going to have to happen after all. Intuitively I still believe it is nothing major or life threatening, but since I happen to live in a world of science and somewhat relatively advanced medical technology, I need to use this to confirm that. Sure it is a little frustrating and the pain sucks, but it is what life has to offer me at this point.
On the married front - we have had some issues to face. It always seems to be that we are looking at the end - especially since that D word seems to keep coming up. I really believe we are better together than apart, and that I love my family here more than anything. The relationship you have with another is like the one you have with yourself, and as it is a love-hate relationship I have within myself, that transcends to the one I have with another person. There have been some tense moments, raised voices, silent distances that come with the territory. I know we can work it out - we will - but it is going to continue to be a challenge.
Our daughter's tests keep getting put off, but now set for June 28. The symptoms appear to possibly be along the lines of Crohn's Disease. It seems way too complicated to just lump it all under the stress category, as some days the symptoms are completely gone while other days they just show up with no apparent explanation. So far all of the psychiatric medication has produced nothing but side effects - another reason I have never been a big fan of pills. Once the tests are done, if anything we can rule out physical symptoms or diseases, or figure out possibly what this is all about.
Some may question this, but there is an apparent telepathic connection between my wife and daughter. Victoria told me - and I don't think she is making this up - she heard her crying intensely in the house - only she happened to be at school. She called the school, that was getting ready to call her - and that same intense crying was happening on the phone 14 miles away. Again - assuming this is a truthful statement - how do you explain that?
The last song I linked over in My Space has been a huge help to me getting through what I do. Lately I find writing and singing songs about love and self-acceptance are the best soul medication out there. My last set of songs I called "Self help on the way" and from the same Grateful Dead song I am going to call the next bunch "With love in the dream". I have recorded 4 of them on the 4-track over the last week. The one I posted on My Space was inspired by a lot of the different authors I have read - Don Ruiz, Thich Nhat Hanh, Ram Daas and even Depak Chopra - even some of Michael Franti's message was in there. The ideas may be recycled, but they are very helpful to facing the challenges of my life at this time. Digging in when times are challenging, and still finding the focus to access your deeper self and stay tuned into one's faith - to me that is what musical and artistic expression is about. That is why I know in spite of all this, every little thing is going to be all right - one way or another - it will work out, the way it was meant to be - the right way.
Thanks to all who have expressed support - I appreciate it.
posted by Zook at 6:18 AM
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