Burning with optimism's flames

Song title from an old tune by XTC. Being an optimist is new to me - I have spent most of my life - at least half anyways - being very pessimistic and thinking happiness does not exist. Now that has changed, even though there are many things to be upset about right now if I let them pull me in. Sara's problems continue - I see that they are not as severe as last year and I think they will improve. The animals - and I know some will be critical of this - but yes - they all seem to be a money drain requiring more and more veterinarian visits. I don't like it - I walk out of the vet office pretty upset at times, but life goes on. I guess even the money drain could be worse, and it is all karma anyways, and a chance to reflect that it could be worse. More may come out then comes in at times, but it finds a way to balance out and I believe somehow or another it will let up or get better. I am around some very negative people at times, okay - I am married to one - and she is clearly not happy and thinks she would be happier somewhere else . She thinks Sara would have a better chance of healing in Chicago then here. Maybe so - maybe not. I personally would rather her stay here, but maybe they head out there for a few months to find out - maybe even longer than that. Not much I can do about it - if it has to happen, then why resist it. All I can do is focus on what is going on inside me - and try to be as positive as I can with the messages I send myself. Maybe it carries over to others, maybe not. All you can do is try. I am almost done with my latest recording - 50 minutes in anyways - and they are all tunes I wrote from this year. They are all like medicine to me - they speak to a part of me that has been hungry for this message for years. If anything will ultimately stand out to me for this time period, that will be it for me - these songs and the power they have over me to see the brightness of life that Monty Python talks about in Life of Brian.

There it is - short and sweet - time for a walk now.