All you can do is the best you can

Okay - after always quoting someone else, I am finally drawing from one of my own songs - but granted, I am not the first person to think of this idea. I probably was not even the first person to think of this word combination, but having just run a Google search and finding no exact matches, who knows - maybe I am onto something. It is one of the "Four Agreements" in Don Ruiz's book as well - always do your best. Today my accomplishment for the day was figuring out how to get a stubborn little particle out of my disposal. I tried everything - could not see it - then finally used an internet suggestion of running ice through it and that seemed to at least isolate the thing to the point that I could grab it and pull it out (with the disposal turned off at least). Another reason to stay away from my addictive website - as long as I am there, I will not do the best I can - for my company, for my family, and I have not even peaked in the comments section there for almost 3 whole days now. Just a matter of starting new habits, and this time - "I got no chance of losing this time". Like the song I mentioned a little earlier says "The wife of Lott got turned to salt because she looked behind her". So if I don't look back, I won't get sucked in - to put it bluntly. Easier said than done - but so far so good.

Thanks to everyone who reads this on a regular basis - even if I don't know you are doing that. Once in a while someone tells me that they read this and unlike Mr. Liver who always lets me know, most of you don't - but I appreciate you keeping up with me, regardless of that.

I had a nice guitar session in my yard - almost spring weather here - and I just learned Shine on You Crazy Diamond - thanks to a lyric/chord website, and that almost works as well as Wish You Were Here (the title song from the same PF album) that it is on - and mixing it in with a couple of my recent personals, it just felt good to be out there, with Zukey faithfully beside me.

My mood seems to be a little better, even if my significant still seems to struggle with the perceived isolation out here. I have been isolated all my life, so I actually prefer it. Going in to the Meadowwood mall yesterday (definitely not my choice) two days before Christmas ("in Hell" - one of my old original compositions) makes me realize how depressing I find it to be in a crowd of people. I always feel like I can breathe again when I hit the 395 south from Reno toward Washoe Valley and make my way into the countryside. I like the air and space to breathe, and I just don't want or need a crowd of people around me the way she does. Talk again today about her heading to Chicago for an indefinite time period to be with her family - and if that is what she needs to do - far be it from me to stop her. All I know is that my job and the countryside that I love are both here, and this is where I belong. Speaking of my job - sometimes I take certain things for granted - but there really is an amazing feeling about cranking out an estimate and diagram at someone's house, loading up the digital pictures to the website, and seeing it fly out when I am connected into the people's hands who will use it to pay a claim. When so many things can go wrong that keep this process from happening, and I have experienced them first hand - it is really quite a miracle to see it when it works. It is almost like seeing music be created and has an artistic feeling to it. I take pride in it when I see it happen, and the bottom line is, as much as I may bitch about the pressure from time to time, I am really one of the few people who can really and sincerely say he likes what he does for a living.

Well - two days from now until my favorite holiday - the day after Christams - the day that all of the horrible Kenny G and Christmas music mercifully gives us a break for about 300 days, the day that days start to get longer instead of shorter, and I treasure this day the way most people treasure the dreaded day itself.