Picassa Moon

First writing from the latest laptop my company has provided me since my last batch of blue screens. I am a pro at swapping data. I go to HP to download the printer and scanner software, and the rest goes to zip drive and CD's. I am losing track, but I think it has been close to 10 I have gone through in the last few years. I am either cursed or it has been some kind of program I bring on that it does not like. Last time it freaked out it seemed to be stuck on the "Hello" program by "Picassa" for uploading photos onto the blog. I don't know why you can't just cut and paste photos here, instead this somewhat bizarre program pops up constantly, and lets you know every time you are on line. It is a shot in the dark , but for now - no more photos here and hopefully the blue screen will be gone for at least a few days any way.

One of those true to life dreams I had the other night - my mother and wife were getting into a vicious verbal altercation here in Dayton, somewhere off the main street here in town. I remember my wife in a very frustrated angry voice saying something like it was just a joke. Then I informed my mother I could not be a part of her life any more if she was going to do continue to act this way, which in essence was a dream summary of the real life events of this year... Later on in the dream, we were all in a glass house and my family (parents, etc) were getting ready to take a family walk to watch a sunset near some cliffs. The weather was freezing cold and I knew I could not be a part of the gathering. That part kind of reminds me of one of the Mammoth trips - the last one when all of us were there - when many there was trying so hard to pretend that we were a close family. In my experience, the more something is pretended, the more apparent that it is not the case and that is very depressing to me. Most likely this is the reason I cannot be around my family for any portion of time, although one on one with a family member seems to go okay.

Speaking of depression, mine comes and goes. We are down to about 9 hours and 25 minutes of daylight. This light helps, but I can't always be around it - and on days on the road when the weather is gloomy, it still gets to me. Nasty freezing fog has been the theme this week. The light has not caused a complete turn around in mood, but I think it has definitely helped. My normal winter cold has arrived as well.

I started the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. He is a genius. What he says makes so much sense. If only more of us could follow that way of life.