Yesterday I begged you before I hit the ground

(China Doll song)

Sounds a little dramatic, but I am on the ground again. I would not necessarily call it a full blown depression per se, but the dark days seem to do that to me - snap me out of any temporary period of even a trace of mania. It was a definite limited mania in that I was sleeping well and doing my job, but I was feeling pretty good right around late summer through October, feeling the presence of a higher power with me - feeling connected - and even then knowing I was "bound to fall" (Like a Rolling Sone) because after a while you just know you aren't going to feel good forever, so even bracing myself for it, it is always a bit of a shock when it happens. Now I alternate between feeling grounded and depressed, and if there is not a lot of daylight on a particularly gloomy day like Monday when it snowed all day, then it can feel pretty strong. But - the light should be on its way. The next thing to do is brace myself for the massive winter claims workload, but that has not arrived quite yet. The trick spiritually is to try to keep that faith in God or the higher power, even when life around you is not screaming out with the presence of it, "searching for the sound" when you cannot specifically hear it so to speak - take advantage of the few hours of daylight and appreciate them when they are there. So - off to walk the dog and if I see God outside walking his, I will be sure to say hi.