I got the six
(from a ZZ Top song with that title)
Addictions - by their stated nature - are not easy to overcome. I have improved over last year - for certain - but I have had my relapses and I know I can do better. I can't make promises - because then I set my self up to failure. For the most part, I stayed off IM for most of the last half of the year, and my time on Gasbuddy.com was much less than before - but I have been guilty of falling off the wagon there too. I never knew how consuming a website can be. Involved chat rooms are like soap operas where everyone's dark side of their personality is free to roam unchecked, without anyone there to physicallly punch you in the face. People really get out of control there in a way that is kind of frightening, and develop fantasy "friends" and "enemies" of people they have often never met or spoken to.
I have reached a milestone though now. In a near two year period 9,666 posts there. That is an average of 13 posts a day. Quite a bit of time to be there. When you factor in the time I was off altogether, that means there were times I was on there for hours. But after all this time - the magic number has arrived. As numbers go (and I am not a numerologist per se) this is a powerful one. Never mind the sexual aspect of the palindrome portion, although that is a factor - but when that is combined with the 666 - the number of the beast - it is almost a "Sexy Beast" (the name of a movie starring Ben Kingsley) and a perfect representation of addictions, how consuming they are, how destructive they are. But this is quite some motivation - this is the only time I can arrive at this number or anything like it - unless I wait until 99,666 comes around - which would be decades at my current rate. I walked the dog with this number in mind, and the wind was blowing under a grey sky, and I realized how powerful a number can be. And how synchronistic was it that I looked down at my trip odometer yesterday (resets every 10,000 miles and I am almost at 50,000 on the 04 company Chevy Colorado) and low and behold - the number coming back from Bishop yesterday when I glanced down: 9,9666.6. Talk about synchronicity - how freaky is that? Sure - it is not the exact number - an extra 9 at the beginning and extra 6 at the end, but I saw it as a sign for sure.
Call it ignorant superstition, but I really believe this number is trying to tell me something. And just in time for New Year's resolutions. My last time I cut out of there I was at 8,666 so I see this as a definite sign - time to move on to better things. Post gas prices, and gas prices only, and get the hell out of there. So - not making any promises to anyone, but this is my motivation to break this particular addiction for once and for all. And if numbers mean anything, I think now my chances are as good as ever.
Addictions - by their stated nature - are not easy to overcome. I have improved over last year - for certain - but I have had my relapses and I know I can do better. I can't make promises - because then I set my self up to failure. For the most part, I stayed off IM for most of the last half of the year, and my time on Gasbuddy.com was much less than before - but I have been guilty of falling off the wagon there too. I never knew how consuming a website can be. Involved chat rooms are like soap operas where everyone's dark side of their personality is free to roam unchecked, without anyone there to physicallly punch you in the face. People really get out of control there in a way that is kind of frightening, and develop fantasy "friends" and "enemies" of people they have often never met or spoken to.
I have reached a milestone though now. In a near two year period 9,666 posts there. That is an average of 13 posts a day. Quite a bit of time to be there. When you factor in the time I was off altogether, that means there were times I was on there for hours. But after all this time - the magic number has arrived. As numbers go (and I am not a numerologist per se) this is a powerful one. Never mind the sexual aspect of the palindrome portion, although that is a factor - but when that is combined with the 666 - the number of the beast - it is almost a "Sexy Beast" (the name of a movie starring Ben Kingsley) and a perfect representation of addictions, how consuming they are, how destructive they are. But this is quite some motivation - this is the only time I can arrive at this number or anything like it - unless I wait until 99,666 comes around - which would be decades at my current rate. I walked the dog with this number in mind, and the wind was blowing under a grey sky, and I realized how powerful a number can be. And how synchronistic was it that I looked down at my trip odometer yesterday (resets every 10,000 miles and I am almost at 50,000 on the 04 company Chevy Colorado) and low and behold - the number coming back from Bishop yesterday when I glanced down: 9,9666.6. Talk about synchronicity - how freaky is that? Sure - it is not the exact number - an extra 9 at the beginning and extra 6 at the end, but I saw it as a sign for sure.
Call it ignorant superstition, but I really believe this number is trying to tell me something. And just in time for New Year's resolutions. My last time I cut out of there I was at 8,666 so I see this as a definite sign - time to move on to better things. Post gas prices, and gas prices only, and get the hell out of there. So - not making any promises to anyone, but this is my motivation to break this particular addiction for once and for all. And if numbers mean anything, I think now my chances are as good as ever.
posted by Zook at 9:19 AM
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