The first days are the hardest days
from "Uncle John's Band"
I have been singing the Gratitude song I posted a couple times a day now - I find it is hard to sing it just once. Victoria likes it too and liked to see it played back on the Windows Media Player with all the visual effects. I think I am going to look back at this as one of the happiest times of my life. It seems like something like this has a tendency to follow a very difficult time and I have already talked about our hard times from earlier this year. We look at Sara's friend Tuesday having to shuttle back and forth between two parents, and we just really feel good that we could work it all out and be there not only for each other, but for Sara too. I just look at the home improvements, the area we live in, the mountains, the scenery, and the two most important people in the world to me who live in my house and I feel very fortunate. Sure - I at times have been envious of my liver buddy for all the assets he has, but to an extent wealth is a state of mind. Taking a look at all the loss of life from natural disasters and this unfortunate war we got sucked into, and seeing how much loss has taken place lately in the world, sometimes I feel bad that I have it so good compared to everyone else who is suffering out there. I just keep thanking whatever higher power is out there for what I have, and I don't need a church or a religious organization of any kind to do that. My church, or synagogue or whatever you want to call it - is there as soon as I step outside to either walk my dog, or strap on my guitar.
I know the difference between happiness, and pure intense joy - the kind I experienced in my manic times. There is a common ground there, but happiness is much more grounded - and it does not mean you don't get down and out at times too - because that happens - but it just does not dominate the way a depression can. Like anything - and everything - you realize it will pass - just like the song "All Things Must Pass" by George Harrison. And also in realizing that all the things I thank God for in my song - will also pass - you express the gratitude while they are still here - knowing that you had better appreciate it while it is here, before it slips by and you never realize how good you had it.
Our loans have just about been spent now - one haunted bed included, along with the furniture, siding, roof, yard and some other stuff. Our neighbors are all shocked. We have seen them stare in a state of complete disbelief at the transformation. The purple house really pissed people off here. The guy who delivered our mattress - when we mentioned our house used to be purple - said - oh this is THE purple house? I guess I know what it is like to some degree to be black in a racist world, in that people really hated us for this house. We got a thank you note from a rep from the home association now that the colors are more neutral. People are going to have to find something else to hate around here, but I am sure they won't have to look too hard. I don't think any of us planned on such a reaction here, but now we look good because we changed what may have been the most hated house in Dayton history to one of the nicest looking houses - on the outside anyway. Inside it is still a disaster, but in time maybe that will change too.
Anyways - time to walk the dog now and revel in the wonders of the beautiful world that surrounds me.
I have been singing the Gratitude song I posted a couple times a day now - I find it is hard to sing it just once. Victoria likes it too and liked to see it played back on the Windows Media Player with all the visual effects. I think I am going to look back at this as one of the happiest times of my life. It seems like something like this has a tendency to follow a very difficult time and I have already talked about our hard times from earlier this year. We look at Sara's friend Tuesday having to shuttle back and forth between two parents, and we just really feel good that we could work it all out and be there not only for each other, but for Sara too. I just look at the home improvements, the area we live in, the mountains, the scenery, and the two most important people in the world to me who live in my house and I feel very fortunate. Sure - I at times have been envious of my liver buddy for all the assets he has, but to an extent wealth is a state of mind. Taking a look at all the loss of life from natural disasters and this unfortunate war we got sucked into, and seeing how much loss has taken place lately in the world, sometimes I feel bad that I have it so good compared to everyone else who is suffering out there. I just keep thanking whatever higher power is out there for what I have, and I don't need a church or a religious organization of any kind to do that. My church, or synagogue or whatever you want to call it - is there as soon as I step outside to either walk my dog, or strap on my guitar.
I know the difference between happiness, and pure intense joy - the kind I experienced in my manic times. There is a common ground there, but happiness is much more grounded - and it does not mean you don't get down and out at times too - because that happens - but it just does not dominate the way a depression can. Like anything - and everything - you realize it will pass - just like the song "All Things Must Pass" by George Harrison. And also in realizing that all the things I thank God for in my song - will also pass - you express the gratitude while they are still here - knowing that you had better appreciate it while it is here, before it slips by and you never realize how good you had it.
Our loans have just about been spent now - one haunted bed included, along with the furniture, siding, roof, yard and some other stuff. Our neighbors are all shocked. We have seen them stare in a state of complete disbelief at the transformation. The purple house really pissed people off here. The guy who delivered our mattress - when we mentioned our house used to be purple - said - oh this is THE purple house? I guess I know what it is like to some degree to be black in a racist world, in that people really hated us for this house. We got a thank you note from a rep from the home association now that the colors are more neutral. People are going to have to find something else to hate around here, but I am sure they won't have to look too hard. I don't think any of us planned on such a reaction here, but now we look good because we changed what may have been the most hated house in Dayton history to one of the nicest looking houses - on the outside anyway. Inside it is still a disaster, but in time maybe that will change too.
Anyways - time to walk the dog now and revel in the wonders of the beautiful world that surrounds me.
posted by Zook at 6:43 AM
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