Prisoners grumblin, piss their clothes, and scratch their matted hair
Frank Zappa "The Torture Never Stops"
I was trying to think of a good song lyric for my birthday, but the answer found it itself. My dreaded hypo-glycemia test took place today. I had previously mentioned that I had heard horror stories about this test. Well - I am not good with drawing blood. Back around 1988 or 1989 - I had a lithium level check and ended up on the ground after pissing in my pants back at a lab in UCSD. So - with that in mind - I always tell the lab techs that I am vulnerable to fainting - and I did the same today - yet somehow I ended up in a chair anyway.
I fasted after 7:00 PM like normal. Ate out at a local Mexican restaurant that reminds me at times of my parents' visits here. The food there has really gone down hill, and Victoria ended up complaining to the restaurant, but that was the last thing I ate. Showed up at the lab in Carson City at 7:10 today and had to wait an hour until the first blood draw.
The first tech was pretty good - even told me if I don't think bad thoughts about the procedure, I won't create them - and she was quick about it. I had a little glucose soda that tasted like Sprite and went back to my car. They check your blood levels 3 more times on the hour to see how you do.
Well - it was draw number two at around 9:15 that was the festive one. The woman who was clearly more inexperienced than the first one gave me a play by play in vivid detail about how hard it was to find a good juicy vein in my right arm to draw upon. It kept seeming like it was going on forever - and then when I thought she was done - it was still going on. She gave one extra good poke and I felt a surge of pain and expressed that to her. Then she went fishing in the other arm, even though the first tech had made it clear that my right arm was the good one. They kept asking me "are you okay" (remember NY 89-90 Mr. Liver?) and maybe it was because I clearly was not. I then mentioned again - maybe one time too late - that normally I do these tests lying down. The last thing I remember was another tech walking by and announcing to the entire world and anyone else interested "he looks very pale".
The next thing I remember was this strange sense of disorientation like waking up from a dream and not knowing where the hell you are - only to be greeted by the same charming inquisition "are you okay". I told them I had fallen asleep and they said they had lost me for a bit. Well - I looked down and low and behold - some nice charming wet areas in my pants, and a little puddle on the ground for good measure. They wiped it up because they did not want me to trip on it. They helped me to the back room with the mattress I had hinted at the entire time, and then for good measure - took blood from me one more time shortly after since the first fishing expedition had been in "vein" - (yes pun intended).
Victoria showed up a little later after I took a nap, and thought the whole thing was very funny. I had a change of clothes in the car, and then they drew blood another two times at 10 and 11:15 without incident.
We ate out at my favorite restaurant in the area "India Curry" - an all you can eat buffet, and naturally I was starving and helped myself to one of the best meals ever. We shared some nice moments alone at home, and now everything is groovy again.
I was trying to think of a good song lyric for my birthday, but the answer found it itself. My dreaded hypo-glycemia test took place today. I had previously mentioned that I had heard horror stories about this test. Well - I am not good with drawing blood. Back around 1988 or 1989 - I had a lithium level check and ended up on the ground after pissing in my pants back at a lab in UCSD. So - with that in mind - I always tell the lab techs that I am vulnerable to fainting - and I did the same today - yet somehow I ended up in a chair anyway.
I fasted after 7:00 PM like normal. Ate out at a local Mexican restaurant that reminds me at times of my parents' visits here. The food there has really gone down hill, and Victoria ended up complaining to the restaurant, but that was the last thing I ate. Showed up at the lab in Carson City at 7:10 today and had to wait an hour until the first blood draw.
The first tech was pretty good - even told me if I don't think bad thoughts about the procedure, I won't create them - and she was quick about it. I had a little glucose soda that tasted like Sprite and went back to my car. They check your blood levels 3 more times on the hour to see how you do.
Well - it was draw number two at around 9:15 that was the festive one. The woman who was clearly more inexperienced than the first one gave me a play by play in vivid detail about how hard it was to find a good juicy vein in my right arm to draw upon. It kept seeming like it was going on forever - and then when I thought she was done - it was still going on. She gave one extra good poke and I felt a surge of pain and expressed that to her. Then she went fishing in the other arm, even though the first tech had made it clear that my right arm was the good one. They kept asking me "are you okay" (remember NY 89-90 Mr. Liver?) and maybe it was because I clearly was not. I then mentioned again - maybe one time too late - that normally I do these tests lying down. The last thing I remember was another tech walking by and announcing to the entire world and anyone else interested "he looks very pale".
The next thing I remember was this strange sense of disorientation like waking up from a dream and not knowing where the hell you are - only to be greeted by the same charming inquisition "are you okay". I told them I had fallen asleep and they said they had lost me for a bit. Well - I looked down and low and behold - some nice charming wet areas in my pants, and a little puddle on the ground for good measure. They wiped it up because they did not want me to trip on it. They helped me to the back room with the mattress I had hinted at the entire time, and then for good measure - took blood from me one more time shortly after since the first fishing expedition had been in "vein" - (yes pun intended).
Victoria showed up a little later after I took a nap, and thought the whole thing was very funny. I had a change of clothes in the car, and then they drew blood another two times at 10 and 11:15 without incident.
We ate out at my favorite restaurant in the area "India Curry" - an all you can eat buffet, and naturally I was starving and helped myself to one of the best meals ever. We shared some nice moments alone at home, and now everything is groovy again.
posted by Zook at 1:45 PM
2 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
And you had to do this on your birthday? Happy birthday buddy. You're getting old but will always be six days younger than me. Who would've thought that our 40th year would be better than our 30th or our 20th? I ate the entire cake (over a few days) that my wife made me. My wife is avoiding dairy and my kids have never tasted chocolate. Our kids will never forgive us.
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