I survived my first day of first grade

8-29-05 

Interesting dream

I was somehow or another involved with my first girlfriend of 15 years ago - Sharon (yes Mr. Liver, you met her - she was coming on to Duhig, and just about every friend I had for that matter just like the song Hey Hey What Can I Do). Okay - she was definitely the most out there woman I have ever been involved with, and I always seem to go for the crazy ones - any therapists out there can figure the reason for that one out - but anyways - I was pretty romantically involved with her. She was my first love, first kiss, first intimate experience even though the relationship - if you want to call it that - was pretty crazy and I was not the only one she was involved with. But - in the dream, I was going to marry her and leave my wife, Victoria. At some point in the dream, it dawned on me (to put this as non-graphically as possible) that I was going to miss out on some marital benefits that I have here at home, and I decided I wanted to be with Victoria after all. I called off the marriage and was trying to talk to Sharon on her cell phone to tell her that. I don't remember her reaction, but I remember thinking about all the cakes that were being made for the wedding by the bakery and the effect it would have on that.

The sound of gunfire off in the distance

Last night about 1:30 my dog, Zukey, was sleeping next to me and all of a sudden I heard 4 loud gunshot sounds that sounded like they were right out of the open window. Zukey was pretty freaked out and I could smell what seemed to be gunpowder right outside my window, and I saw two police cars driving by shortly after - all pretty surreal for coming out of a deep sleep. Normally this is a pretty quiet neighborhood - so hopefully nobody got hurt.

Beg steal or borrow two nickles or a dime

The new roof is on, after a month of waiting. Plans to add on insulated vinyl siding (no they won't be purple), matching gutters, work on the yard, put in grass, sprinkler system, ceiling fans throughout the house, along with painting the interior - and some furniture has been purchased. And how is this happening? Simple answer - we are borrowing a ton of money. The car is now paid off - the house balance has gone way up, and the retirement plan is going to be hit up as well. Coming from that somewhat neurotic, stereotypical, Jewish mentality, it is easy to take on the tendency of the older aspects of the generation and think we are better off hoarding, budgeting, never spending a dime and just letting everything rot and go to hell. When you take it to that extreme, you might as well just shoot yourself in the head - because that is going to be the cheapest way to live. In the long run, the house needs these things and it will prevent all sorts of problems down the line (roof leaks, dry rot) - all things I have seen as my experience as a home insurance adjuster. "Now and again these things just got to be done"..

40 year (shingles) upon my head

Re-modeling - phase one 

It was twenty years ago today

In my folk's back yard about 20 years ago 

Look what's in your hand

Thanks Rich! 

I've been working in a gold mine, going down down

Goldstrike Mine, near Carlin, Nevada 

Happiness Meditation - the recording

Happiness Meditation

This just kind of came to me when I was out in the yard today with the guitar, while we had a mild thunderstorm - recording to follow shortly.


The leaves shake in the thunder and the wind
My life today's about to just begin
The storm clouds from the heavens high above
Are sending down their rain mixed with their love

Emptiness and sadness, fall astray
For happiness it reigns supreme today
Depression you can just float up away
The loving air has purged it clean today

The heavy heart you're feeling isn't you
It's just you never knew what else to do
The spirits they are everywhere here too
There's no space left between all them and you

Just when it's all falling straight apart
You find the love that's hiding in your heart
Always been there just beyond your grasp
But now well all you got to do is ask

That mountain sends its rainbow to your eye
And merges with the goddess of the sky
She sends her holy waters to your cup
And all you've ever needed is her love

Emptiness and sadness, fall astray
For happiness it reigns supreme today
Depression you can just float up away
The loving air has purged it clean today

Never thought I could make it this far....

I first heard this at a Phish show - their lyrics are slightly different than the original by Los Lobos, but these days I think this may be one of the most powerful, emotional songs I know of:

WHEN THE CIRCUS COMES


Could have had a chance to get out of this wreck
The time that you came and the day that you left
Could have had a chance
Could have had a chance

Never thought I could make it this far
With a dent in my soul and a hole in my heart
Never thought I could
Never thought I could

(Chorus)
But when the lights are turning 'round
And wheels are rolling on the ground
That day I'll burn this whole place down
When the circus comes to town

You left your name carved on a tree
You scratched mine out right in front of me
Didn't mean that much
Didn't mean that much

(Chorus)

I'll scratch your name out on that tree
I'll chase your heart right out of me
Doesn't mean that much
Doesn't mean that much

(Chorus)

Forgive me if I don't sing in your key

Composing a song 

Though you rehearse, tomorrow's verse

Sara at her new piano