Undecided, undefined, Undisturbed yet undermined, Relocated not retired, Reprimanded and rewind
(from Undermind by some obscure retired band)
The same retired band that saw me and Mr. Liver driving around the suburbs of Denver near Red Rocks in 1996 on a hot August night after a mind blowing performance of Possum that had me yelling obscenities toward a line of people waiting to eat at a Taco Hell drive through (the exact quote if I remember was "Taco Bell f*** off" and die and was more directed at Taco Hell than the people waiting to ingest the crap they serve there) at a late night time and as I was not in the most coherent mindset at the time so I will never know if the car window was actually rolled down so that anyone heard me other than the 3 remaining car passengers, but I digress....
My company - I have been with them almost 17 years. I am not here to badmouth them - companies are like people you can find some good and find some bad in them and as long as one is not completely outweighing the other, you live to learn with them as you would learn to live with your marriage or any other relationship. They have provided me with a steady livelihood for the time, and I have never been unemployed or hungry while with them. I have had my issues with certain people at certain times, but they for the most part have worked themselves out. I have always had to work hard and some times long hours to keep up, but I would say it beats slaving away in the sun all day, or working 7 14 hours a day shifts continually as is common practice in some countries, including this one. (One of my wife's brother in laws does that - I don't know - as a farmer in Watsonville - and I stand in awe of such an achievement). Maybe I could have been richer doing something else, but contrary to what some think, money isn't everything and I do like what I do. I wouldn't mind more money, but I am not going to cry that I don't have it either. As many go hungry, sick, and without the basic necessities on this planet, I am a firm believer in being damn grateful for what you have ("Don't tell me your troubles, I have enough of my own, be thankful you're living, drink up and go home". Traditional but Freddi Hart had something to do with it, recreated by Garcia and Grisman - a classic line).
So - the latest decision about my location may lie in their hands. I love this area, as I said previously. No great social connections here, but the mountains here really speak to me and have a presence. They inspire me when I need inspiration, and create a great setting for playing guitar. I would miss them if I left, some times I feel like I have moved into physical paradise. All the same, I would like to be promoted at some point - I have moved up a couple notches since I started in July of 1989 and it feels good to be working toward something. The next position in line at my company is supervisor, and I cannot do it here. I know I once suggested going out on my own, but right now I don't quite have the balls to do it - and the financial reality dictates that if I fail, we will lose our house and I am not quite compared to risk that. Maybe some day - but definitely not now. Besides, to get started I would probably have to fall in that 7 x 14 hour a day category and I just don't have that in me. It turns out after looking into it that there could be an opening in the aforementioned city of Chicago.
Chicago - where the weather - to put it bluntly - sucks from what I know. I understand the cold is bone chilling, and the humidity and heat can actually kill people. Victoria's family is out there, and once we move, it will probably finally dawn on her that they are not the answer to all of her problems, but they will be there nevertheless. Now this is not a done deal by any means. Even if I am not rich, I am somewhat on the higher scale of my position of pay at my company, which means they would not only have to pay me, but give me a raise, and move me close to 2000 miles on top of that, and maybe they just don't want to spend the money to do it. That would put the odds a little against me, but if they do say yes, than maybe fate has decided it to be so, and I will pack my bags, try to sell this place and buy one out there, and give it a go. I wouldn't mind a change - and it would mean no more driving to the ends of the earth, climbing through crawlspaces, attics, and roofs - something I cannot do forever as age will eventually catch up with me. Then again, if they say no, I definitely will not go out there and take my chances - that just will not happen. That is my compromise here at home - I will make an effort, but I am not going to do something crazy, and now even Victoria seems to have some reservations now that it may happen. Just another change of cards in the card game of marriage. Regarding the suggestion that she is crazy - maybe so, but she is just as crazy as I am - so I won't hold that against her.
So - none of this will even be decided until the summer - and until then there will be plenty of time to dwell on it.
The same retired band that saw me and Mr. Liver driving around the suburbs of Denver near Red Rocks in 1996 on a hot August night after a mind blowing performance of Possum that had me yelling obscenities toward a line of people waiting to eat at a Taco Hell drive through (the exact quote if I remember was "Taco Bell f*** off" and die and was more directed at Taco Hell than the people waiting to ingest the crap they serve there) at a late night time and as I was not in the most coherent mindset at the time so I will never know if the car window was actually rolled down so that anyone heard me other than the 3 remaining car passengers, but I digress....
My company - I have been with them almost 17 years. I am not here to badmouth them - companies are like people you can find some good and find some bad in them and as long as one is not completely outweighing the other, you live to learn with them as you would learn to live with your marriage or any other relationship. They have provided me with a steady livelihood for the time, and I have never been unemployed or hungry while with them. I have had my issues with certain people at certain times, but they for the most part have worked themselves out. I have always had to work hard and some times long hours to keep up, but I would say it beats slaving away in the sun all day, or working 7 14 hours a day shifts continually as is common practice in some countries, including this one. (One of my wife's brother in laws does that - I don't know - as a farmer in Watsonville - and I stand in awe of such an achievement). Maybe I could have been richer doing something else, but contrary to what some think, money isn't everything and I do like what I do. I wouldn't mind more money, but I am not going to cry that I don't have it either. As many go hungry, sick, and without the basic necessities on this planet, I am a firm believer in being damn grateful for what you have ("Don't tell me your troubles, I have enough of my own, be thankful you're living, drink up and go home". Traditional but Freddi Hart had something to do with it, recreated by Garcia and Grisman - a classic line).
So - the latest decision about my location may lie in their hands. I love this area, as I said previously. No great social connections here, but the mountains here really speak to me and have a presence. They inspire me when I need inspiration, and create a great setting for playing guitar. I would miss them if I left, some times I feel like I have moved into physical paradise. All the same, I would like to be promoted at some point - I have moved up a couple notches since I started in July of 1989 and it feels good to be working toward something. The next position in line at my company is supervisor, and I cannot do it here. I know I once suggested going out on my own, but right now I don't quite have the balls to do it - and the financial reality dictates that if I fail, we will lose our house and I am not quite compared to risk that. Maybe some day - but definitely not now. Besides, to get started I would probably have to fall in that 7 x 14 hour a day category and I just don't have that in me. It turns out after looking into it that there could be an opening in the aforementioned city of Chicago.
Chicago - where the weather - to put it bluntly - sucks from what I know. I understand the cold is bone chilling, and the humidity and heat can actually kill people. Victoria's family is out there, and once we move, it will probably finally dawn on her that they are not the answer to all of her problems, but they will be there nevertheless. Now this is not a done deal by any means. Even if I am not rich, I am somewhat on the higher scale of my position of pay at my company, which means they would not only have to pay me, but give me a raise, and move me close to 2000 miles on top of that, and maybe they just don't want to spend the money to do it. That would put the odds a little against me, but if they do say yes, than maybe fate has decided it to be so, and I will pack my bags, try to sell this place and buy one out there, and give it a go. I wouldn't mind a change - and it would mean no more driving to the ends of the earth, climbing through crawlspaces, attics, and roofs - something I cannot do forever as age will eventually catch up with me. Then again, if they say no, I definitely will not go out there and take my chances - that just will not happen. That is my compromise here at home - I will make an effort, but I am not going to do something crazy, and now even Victoria seems to have some reservations now that it may happen. Just another change of cards in the card game of marriage. Regarding the suggestion that she is crazy - maybe so, but she is just as crazy as I am - so I won't hold that against her.
So - none of this will even be decided until the summer - and until then there will be plenty of time to dwell on it.
posted by Zook at 6:48 AM
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