Any day now, any day now...

My computer will arrive - although that coincidentally is the verse to my all time favorite Bob Dylan song I Shall Be Released for those of you who are unfortunate enough not to know this amazing song. So January usually is a test to see what I am made of and this one has not let me down. It goes back to being an insurance adjuster many years ago during a terrible windstorm and being overwhelmed - the next year I filled in for a guy and had a ton of work dumped on me including all autos and houses, for the month, year before last year it was snowload claims, flood claims last January. One of the Januaries mentioned above was the toughest month my marriage ever endured, on top of that. This January - it has been transition for a new job, feeling out of it, displaced, and waiting every day for over 3 weeks now for that ever elusive computer. Victoria's Dad just passed on as of Saturday, so to add to all of the stress of a new job, I was in charge of Sara for 8 days for the first time in my history as a Dad, and Victoria was badly missed by most of us. Seasonal depression can be hard to begin with, but a missing wife, and the stress of a new job with no equipment to do it - well - I know I am just getting out my violins here - obviously it has been hard for everyone in my household - but suffice it to say - I can't wait for February since I have to turn the corner at some point, don't I? Victoria arrives back today, and God only knows maybe my computer will show up too - any day now - any day now.

Upon news of Victoria's trip - planned a quick day in advance of her flying and I became aware of it last Tuesday night - I had my at least once a year anxiety ridden insomnia melt down - but once I got through that, seemed to adjust to a drastic change well enough. The melt down was inspired by everything - money worries, job worries - how I would break it to them that my time would be limited as a Mr. Mom - but fortunately the boss has been understanding - I haven't been canned yet anyways.

Thanks to Mom and Dad for saying they missed my writings - I know my writings aren't always exactly what you want to be reading - but I appreciate you sticking with it anyways. I speak my mind here and am obviously going to push a few buttons on the way, but that is what straightforward emotional journalism is about. Thanks to Vicki for telling me what I write here inspires her - that is quite a compliment too.

My little doggie ( I should be happy - she is only crapping in the house now - much easier to clean up than piss) awaits me in the car - so I now exit the scenic South Lake Tahoe library to get on with my day, grab my wife from Reno Tahoe Airport where she will be very happily received back by her family, despite her locational preference to be living where she just flew out from.