Oh mama can this really be the end?
Now the bricks lay on Grand Street
Where the neon madmen climb.
They all fall there so perfectly,
It all seems so well timed.
An' here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.
10 years ago today - July 7, 1996 - my first date with my wife and what a better way to mark the occasion than to once again bring up the topic of moving back to Chicago as the current battle with Sara's digestive system is making it all too painfully clear how alone she is out here - sure we have some awesome friends out here, but nobody who can really be the go to guy the way family can be - as Victoria tends to be the provider for others in a lot of ways, but often has her own needs neglected in the process - and today when she was running around to doctors and labs at her wit's end it was brought home how nice it would be to have family around to depend on for helping out in tough times, ,things like just cooking dinner, or giving her a much needed break from a borderline mental breakdown being around Sara all the time - and in all honesty - I can't blame her for wanting some help - I just can't be the one to provide it for her. Also the one GI pediatrician serving in the entire Northern Nevada region - that we may get lucky and actually see next week instead of next month, but in Chicago of course, the wine is sweeter and the grass is greener, better medical care, family is there, heaven vs. hell - and I really think she should go there (forgive me for not "fighting for her" but such romanticized concepts found in the media are not quite as simple in real life, just in my humble opinion). An old lover from the past may be just the ticket for her - and I have strongly encouraged it. I do love her, don't get me wrong, but I don't want her to be miserable either, and I just don't belong in the midwest myself.
So once again - as it always has been, the end of our relationship is just around the corner, just as death itself is always a hair away and every day can be the last - a brutal fatal accident is always lurking around the corner. The people who make the news in the daily fatals section don't always realize that their day has come on the day they pass on to the next world. Today at around midnight the decision was made to check Sara into the Carson Tahoe Hospital where it took about - oh - 50 or so staff members to hold her down for the tantrum that developed when the IV needle had to be inserted - and it is there that Victoria and Sara now reside, while I on my second wind am ranting and raving here. They are going to check her out there - it sure seemed to beat another sleepless screaming night here at home, and serious concern by the pediatrician was raised on the matter of dehydration, as that tends to occur when one does not want to eat or ingest fluids of any kind, and almost 3 pounds have already been lost - not a good sign on a child weighing less than 50 pounds.
So - once again, crisis is here, the end is around the corner, and I am taking the advice of Mr. Sting who says Let your Soul be your Pilot - and that is what I am doing. I'm so happy I can't stop crying - see even though my life on the surface seems to be falling apart, I have this unexplainable faith that all is well, that all will be what it is meant to be, and that with dedicated faith in life, love, God, the Goddess, and the baby Goddess child (I don't know how many there are to tell you the truth - I just know something is in the god damn woods) believing in whatever the hell it is I believe in - I am going to get by, I am going to be happy - and I am just going to deal with what life happens to slap my face with the best I can - and with that in mind, having just watched an interesting video to calm me down, I now am going to try to get a full 4 hours of sleep, once again.
Asked by a reporter if this is the end of Spinal Tap]
Vocalist: David St. Hubbins: "Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you."
Where the neon madmen climb.
They all fall there so perfectly,
It all seems so well timed.
An' here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.
10 years ago today - July 7, 1996 - my first date with my wife and what a better way to mark the occasion than to once again bring up the topic of moving back to Chicago as the current battle with Sara's digestive system is making it all too painfully clear how alone she is out here - sure we have some awesome friends out here, but nobody who can really be the go to guy the way family can be - as Victoria tends to be the provider for others in a lot of ways, but often has her own needs neglected in the process - and today when she was running around to doctors and labs at her wit's end it was brought home how nice it would be to have family around to depend on for helping out in tough times, ,things like just cooking dinner, or giving her a much needed break from a borderline mental breakdown being around Sara all the time - and in all honesty - I can't blame her for wanting some help - I just can't be the one to provide it for her. Also the one GI pediatrician serving in the entire Northern Nevada region - that we may get lucky and actually see next week instead of next month, but in Chicago of course, the wine is sweeter and the grass is greener, better medical care, family is there, heaven vs. hell - and I really think she should go there (forgive me for not "fighting for her" but such romanticized concepts found in the media are not quite as simple in real life, just in my humble opinion). An old lover from the past may be just the ticket for her - and I have strongly encouraged it. I do love her, don't get me wrong, but I don't want her to be miserable either, and I just don't belong in the midwest myself.
So once again - as it always has been, the end of our relationship is just around the corner, just as death itself is always a hair away and every day can be the last - a brutal fatal accident is always lurking around the corner. The people who make the news in the daily fatals section don't always realize that their day has come on the day they pass on to the next world. Today at around midnight the decision was made to check Sara into the Carson Tahoe Hospital where it took about - oh - 50 or so staff members to hold her down for the tantrum that developed when the IV needle had to be inserted - and it is there that Victoria and Sara now reside, while I on my second wind am ranting and raving here. They are going to check her out there - it sure seemed to beat another sleepless screaming night here at home, and serious concern by the pediatrician was raised on the matter of dehydration, as that tends to occur when one does not want to eat or ingest fluids of any kind, and almost 3 pounds have already been lost - not a good sign on a child weighing less than 50 pounds.
So - once again, crisis is here, the end is around the corner, and I am taking the advice of Mr. Sting who says Let your Soul be your Pilot - and that is what I am doing. I'm so happy I can't stop crying - see even though my life on the surface seems to be falling apart, I have this unexplainable faith that all is well, that all will be what it is meant to be, and that with dedicated faith in life, love, God, the Goddess, and the baby Goddess child (I don't know how many there are to tell you the truth - I just know something is in the god damn woods) believing in whatever the hell it is I believe in - I am going to get by, I am going to be happy - and I am just going to deal with what life happens to slap my face with the best I can - and with that in mind, having just watched an interesting video to calm me down, I now am going to try to get a full 4 hours of sleep, once again.
Asked by a reporter if this is the end of Spinal Tap]
Vocalist: David St. Hubbins: "Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you."
posted by Zook at 2:54 AM
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