Despite all the amputations... it was all right

Anxiety for me is kind of like allergies and colds for others - I never know when it is going to come, then all of a sudden -there it is. I had been free from it for a while, but the dream I mentioned in the post below seemed to set the tone for it yesterday. When we all went off to Carson City for Sara's therapy, I snuck away from my home office thinking it wouldn't be too long before I returned. Well - the session went over time, and one thing led to another - then all of a sudden I started to panic because I was not at my desk. Once the panic starts - it is there, and you can't talk yourself out of it. I went through a lot of this during my depression - it on some level feels like everything is spinning out of control, and it is a feeling of complete helplessness that you just have to ride out like a storm, because it is not going anywhere. The Kava herb seems to snap me out of it - which worked when I got home - along with a generic Alleve pill for a headache - since it is somewhat exhausting to experience, but one day later, I slept great and it was like it never was there. The fact is - these things are part of my make up and it will happen again. I just have to accept it when it does, and be ready for it as much as I can be.

Of course - it does pose the greater question that if missing work to go to therapy is going to make you a nervous wreck, is it really going to be all that helpful...