The wheel is turning...
Owen - our kitty - has recovered remarkably well. In some ways it was maybe a blessing that he ended up requiring overnight treatment for the Tylenol, because he had a deep infected wound that was possibly going to need surgery, and spending a couple nights in the animal hospital seemed to do wonders for his wounded paw, and it turns out there will be no long lasting effects from the Tylenol (still never give this to an animal if you are reading this).
Victoria and I are continuing to work things out. She has some past traumas of her own that she needs to slowly but surely accept. It doesn't always go the way we want it to go - and part of the trick is to adjusting to that when that happens. It is like any job - it just takes a lot of work - especially from within. The book and the notions in the book I have talked about are pretty useful - it just takes time and practice to put them into motion.
I felt very grateful yesterday after just taking a few bites of some pizza here after we got back from swimming and the follow up visit with the veterinarian in Minden where they confirmed the cat recovered remarkably. I was never a real big cat person before I met Victoria, but Owen has been with us and alive since the beginning of our relationship, and I have grown attached to him. He has quite a remarkable little spirit and will to live - despite all he has been through. I think my blood sugar was getting a little low before I had the pizza, and it just seemed like such a divine miracle to be able to eat something, and we take our food for granted most of the time.
I got a pretty decent raise at my job. I know - some might say or think the raise (or the job itself) is not good enough, but considering I got almost double the normal recommended amount for employees, it is nice to be appreciated, especially since I often have to remind myself of my own value to myself. Learning to like/love myself is a constant challenge and goes against a lot of my instincts to do just the opposite. The negative voices can say what the f*** are you doing as a claims adjuster when you should be more ambitious, have more money, be in a more respectable job. Then again - the positive voices can come back and say in this day and age I am lucky to have a job and be able to support my family and keep up the house, when many are not in a position to even be able to do that - especially given my often somewhat fragile and consuming mental state that I never thought I would break out of 20 years ago when it had me completely in its grasp. I guess it is the old glass half empty vs. half full approach. My manager wrote: "David Continue(s) to be the backbone for Northern NV. He has been very dependable. This was a tough Winter for David due to the increase of business." That about sums it up.
Things are a little better with my parents, but these things take time too. You don't just have one conversation and then get everything back to normal. There are some pretty serious issues still out there that I am guessing we are never going to work out. The bottom line (in the off chance that one of them is reading this) is it feels way too soon to see them right now - I am not ready - and I think forcing anything is not a good idea, especially when there are enough emotional charges still going on. So - I hope they enjoy their visit to Mammoth Lakes, but I am going to listen to my instincts here and take a pass on that for the time being.
Finally, one of our elderly neighbors on the other side of the block - was striking a conversation with me, and then the subject turned to the condition of the neighborhood and the HO association, before she angrily mentioned that "damn purple house" which I kindly informed her belonged to me. She seemed a little taken aback, but that was okay. I told her it won't be purple for long though. This house is about to undergo a major facelift.
To close with a couple verses from my favorite group and their lyricist:
"The wheel is turning and you can't slow down,
You can't let go and you can't hold on,
You can't go back and you can't stand still,
If the thunder don't get you then the lightning will.
Small wheel turn by the fire and rod,
Big wheel turn by the grace of God,
Every time that wheel turn 'round,
Bound to cover just a little more ground."
Victoria and I are continuing to work things out. She has some past traumas of her own that she needs to slowly but surely accept. It doesn't always go the way we want it to go - and part of the trick is to adjusting to that when that happens. It is like any job - it just takes a lot of work - especially from within. The book and the notions in the book I have talked about are pretty useful - it just takes time and practice to put them into motion.
I felt very grateful yesterday after just taking a few bites of some pizza here after we got back from swimming and the follow up visit with the veterinarian in Minden where they confirmed the cat recovered remarkably. I was never a real big cat person before I met Victoria, but Owen has been with us and alive since the beginning of our relationship, and I have grown attached to him. He has quite a remarkable little spirit and will to live - despite all he has been through. I think my blood sugar was getting a little low before I had the pizza, and it just seemed like such a divine miracle to be able to eat something, and we take our food for granted most of the time.
I got a pretty decent raise at my job. I know - some might say or think the raise (or the job itself) is not good enough, but considering I got almost double the normal recommended amount for employees, it is nice to be appreciated, especially since I often have to remind myself of my own value to myself. Learning to like/love myself is a constant challenge and goes against a lot of my instincts to do just the opposite. The negative voices can say what the f*** are you doing as a claims adjuster when you should be more ambitious, have more money, be in a more respectable job. Then again - the positive voices can come back and say in this day and age I am lucky to have a job and be able to support my family and keep up the house, when many are not in a position to even be able to do that - especially given my often somewhat fragile and consuming mental state that I never thought I would break out of 20 years ago when it had me completely in its grasp. I guess it is the old glass half empty vs. half full approach. My manager wrote: "David Continue(s) to be the backbone for Northern NV. He has been very dependable. This was a tough Winter for David due to the increase of business." That about sums it up.
Things are a little better with my parents, but these things take time too. You don't just have one conversation and then get everything back to normal. There are some pretty serious issues still out there that I am guessing we are never going to work out. The bottom line (in the off chance that one of them is reading this) is it feels way too soon to see them right now - I am not ready - and I think forcing anything is not a good idea, especially when there are enough emotional charges still going on. So - I hope they enjoy their visit to Mammoth Lakes, but I am going to listen to my instincts here and take a pass on that for the time being.
Finally, one of our elderly neighbors on the other side of the block - was striking a conversation with me, and then the subject turned to the condition of the neighborhood and the HO association, before she angrily mentioned that "damn purple house" which I kindly informed her belonged to me. She seemed a little taken aback, but that was okay. I told her it won't be purple for long though. This house is about to undergo a major facelift.
To close with a couple verses from my favorite group and their lyricist:
"The wheel is turning and you can't slow down,
You can't let go and you can't hold on,
You can't go back and you can't stand still,
If the thunder don't get you then the lightning will.
Small wheel turn by the fire and rod,
Big wheel turn by the grace of God,
Every time that wheel turn 'round,
Bound to cover just a little more ground."
posted by Zook at 7:19 AM
1 Comments:
I'm so glad things are looking up for you, Zook! You've made such a turn around in the past few months. Congratulations! And, I'm so happy your cat is okay.
So what color are you going to paint your house next?? :)
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