Knowin' you can always count on me
for sure, that's what friends are for
I want to tell you about my new friend - Lino. I can count on Lino when times get hard. He is always there - waiting with a nice big grin on his face to lend me a helping hand. I can't see him, or even hear him - but as some see their image of the divine Lord his or her self, I know he is always there - waiting to help out. You don't know Lino - I admit - he is a new development in my life, but I depend on him in times of trouble, my version of Mother Mary comes to me from The Beatles - Let it Be (not going to link the lyrics, google it yourself). If I am in a bind, in a fix, short on cash, need some monetary assistance - in an almost altruistic sense of wonder, he will whip out the cash and help pay my bills. What more could I possibly ask for.
So let me tell you about Lino. Lino is in my life - courtesy of the home I own - if the definition of own means that in about 30 years if I am able to make payments succesfully, it will actually be my house for real. Because the market got a little crazy, on paper the house has doubled in value recently, but really through no control or action on my part - the market just decided it was worth more 3 years later than the date that I "purchased" it. Actually - Lino's first name is Equity, last name is Credit and his official middle name is "Line Of". But when I go on line to my bank, I have three options to choose for in accounts - Checking, Savings, and now thanks to my application graciously approved by my bank "Line of Credit". But Lino puts a human face on a faceless corporation out to make a profit at whatever cost - Lino just sounds a little bit more human, a little bit more friendly. So instead of going with the full name: Equity (defined as the amount the house has earned in value less the amount I owe) Line of Credit - don't mind me if I go with a personality and just call him my man Lino.
Consider this basic Economics 101 with a big smiley face in the middle. Lino is attached to the prime rate that often goes up or down and we hear about it in the news every time it does. Right now at an interest rate of about 8% - if I borrow the maximum amount Lino has on hand for me - a full 50,000 - than I will be facing an indefinite minimum interest only payment of $400.00 a month. And of course if interest rate goes up - my monthly goes up, and same if it goes down. It is all worked out so that I pay the minimum amount over the longest amount of time, so that I pay as little as I can at once and Lino pockets the largest amount of long time interest as a result - since the longer it takes me to pay it off, the more money Lino pockets to support his own wife and family. Just call it a win win situation for both of us .
Yes - I realize in an ideal world I wouldn't need Lino at all. I could always take the Nazi approach and just insist that we all never spend a cent beyond our means, never go out to eat, and work myself into an anxiety ridden frenzy over trying to balance the budget. But just like my buddy Uncle Sam knows, balancing the budget is a lot harder than it looks. So, as a lesser of evils - Lino is there and has my back. He sure is a lot more appealing than his buddy Credo - short for Credit Card Debt. And if I went money Nazi in a neurotic attempt to stay within an impossible budget parameter, than I would be possibly looking at another unwelcome friend - Divo - short for Divorce Court. So - I walk the thin line between balancing the budget and debt, and Lino is here to help.
Lino's distant relatives are named Loan Shark, but Lino is much more civilized. Lino is a sensitive type of guy, he isn't going to come over and break my arm because I am short on cash. Hell - he may even let me borrow from him to meet the required montly payment, I could borrow from Lino to pay Lino - what kind of sweet deal is that? But if worse comes to worse - and I can't pay him at all - nothing personal, he will just quietly foreclose my house, pocket what he needs to pay him back, and then he will even hand over the difference to me - what a guy!
For those of you who do not approve of Lino in my life - I totally understand your concerns - and have a suggestion for you - just send a check or money order contribution payable to Zooknoone at Paradise Waits and I will gladly accept your contributions as an alternative to Lino. But since I don't anticipate any of you are lining up to replace Lino, than it will be Lino lining up instead.
In the mean time - wish me luck on Tuesday.
I want to tell you about my new friend - Lino. I can count on Lino when times get hard. He is always there - waiting with a nice big grin on his face to lend me a helping hand. I can't see him, or even hear him - but as some see their image of the divine Lord his or her self, I know he is always there - waiting to help out. You don't know Lino - I admit - he is a new development in my life, but I depend on him in times of trouble, my version of Mother Mary comes to me from The Beatles - Let it Be (not going to link the lyrics, google it yourself). If I am in a bind, in a fix, short on cash, need some monetary assistance - in an almost altruistic sense of wonder, he will whip out the cash and help pay my bills. What more could I possibly ask for.
So let me tell you about Lino. Lino is in my life - courtesy of the home I own - if the definition of own means that in about 30 years if I am able to make payments succesfully, it will actually be my house for real. Because the market got a little crazy, on paper the house has doubled in value recently, but really through no control or action on my part - the market just decided it was worth more 3 years later than the date that I "purchased" it. Actually - Lino's first name is Equity, last name is Credit and his official middle name is "Line Of". But when I go on line to my bank, I have three options to choose for in accounts - Checking, Savings, and now thanks to my application graciously approved by my bank "Line of Credit". But Lino puts a human face on a faceless corporation out to make a profit at whatever cost - Lino just sounds a little bit more human, a little bit more friendly. So instead of going with the full name: Equity (defined as the amount the house has earned in value less the amount I owe) Line of Credit - don't mind me if I go with a personality and just call him my man Lino.
Consider this basic Economics 101 with a big smiley face in the middle. Lino is attached to the prime rate that often goes up or down and we hear about it in the news every time it does. Right now at an interest rate of about 8% - if I borrow the maximum amount Lino has on hand for me - a full 50,000 - than I will be facing an indefinite minimum interest only payment of $400.00 a month. And of course if interest rate goes up - my monthly goes up, and same if it goes down. It is all worked out so that I pay the minimum amount over the longest amount of time, so that I pay as little as I can at once and Lino pockets the largest amount of long time interest as a result - since the longer it takes me to pay it off, the more money Lino pockets to support his own wife and family. Just call it a win win situation for both of us .
Yes - I realize in an ideal world I wouldn't need Lino at all. I could always take the Nazi approach and just insist that we all never spend a cent beyond our means, never go out to eat, and work myself into an anxiety ridden frenzy over trying to balance the budget. But just like my buddy Uncle Sam knows, balancing the budget is a lot harder than it looks. So, as a lesser of evils - Lino is there and has my back. He sure is a lot more appealing than his buddy Credo - short for Credit Card Debt. And if I went money Nazi in a neurotic attempt to stay within an impossible budget parameter, than I would be possibly looking at another unwelcome friend - Divo - short for Divorce Court. So - I walk the thin line between balancing the budget and debt, and Lino is here to help.
Lino's distant relatives are named Loan Shark, but Lino is much more civilized. Lino is a sensitive type of guy, he isn't going to come over and break my arm because I am short on cash. Hell - he may even let me borrow from him to meet the required montly payment, I could borrow from Lino to pay Lino - what kind of sweet deal is that? But if worse comes to worse - and I can't pay him at all - nothing personal, he will just quietly foreclose my house, pocket what he needs to pay him back, and then he will even hand over the difference to me - what a guy!
For those of you who do not approve of Lino in my life - I totally understand your concerns - and have a suggestion for you - just send a check or money order contribution payable to Zooknoone at Paradise Waits and I will gladly accept your contributions as an alternative to Lino. But since I don't anticipate any of you are lining up to replace Lino, than it will be Lino lining up instead.
In the mean time - wish me luck on Tuesday.
posted by Zook at 9:53 AM
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